5-minute word vom #4: hearing loss

Date: August 21, 2022 
Start time: 4:20 PM 
What I'm thinking about: hearing loss

I just saw an article that showed that researchers have been developing potential forms of gene therapy that can help prevent genetic hearing loss. 

As somebody who has genetic hearing loss (hey friends, fun fact: I'm borderline medically deaf - does that make me eligible for disability benefits...?), this is super exciting news to hear. Although I suppose it should be encouraging on behalf of potential future children I may have, I was more excited for potential future development of this treatment and/or others that might be able to help improve my own hearing. 

As somebody who first failed her hearing exam at 8 years old and who has lived her entire life with moderate to severe hearing loss, the hearing aids that I've been more or less consistently wearing since 2019 have been both a huge improvement to my quality of life but are still annoying to deal with - my ears hurt after wearing them for a long time; I deal with feedback noise on a regular basis; I'm constantly afraid that I will forget backup batteries or that I will leave the aids at home when I'm on my way to an important meeting; so on and so forth. It's definitely been a love/hate relationship with hearing aids (I had my first pair in college, but the microphone was positioned behind my ear, resulting in a lot of noise coming from behind me --- not good when 5'2" and therefore positioned in the front row of a choir. I only wore those during lectures and eventually stopped wearing them altogether. I also had my first traumatizing experience with the financial system when I got charged 2 years' worth of interest in one go on the price of my hearing aids due to not paying off the entirety of the cost within 2 years. Thankfully there was eventually a class-action lawsuit against the bank for not providing sufficient information to its clients several years later, but the amount of stress I experienced in that moment has scarred me to where I am extra careful about reading the fine print when signing up for payment plans and loans -- and try to avoid them as much as possible altogether). I hate being dependent on anything, and being dependent upon these hearing aids causes feelings of frustration, particularly when I have to make sure I have them on, or that I am extra careful with them (particularly when around water). I also hate playing Telephone (that game where you whisper into people's ears and pass a message down a line of folks), maybe for obvious reasons now. Even with hearing aids, it gives me a lot of stress.

On the other hand, there are some benefits of having hearing loss - I sometimes wonder if I don't remember experiencing much bullying as a kid because I couldn't hear the other kids whispering during class. Some "friends" used to have a joke in which they would just whisper my name really loudly until (if) I finally heard and turned around, but asides from that, I was largely unaware of whispers, rumors, if people were saying things in class, which means I was unresponsive -- thereby making me a boring target. I am also blessedly able to sleep through higher amounts of noise than others, since I don't hear a lot of background noise (I didn't realize the extent of this until my first pair of hearing aids, holy cow what a difference!) If there is a screaming baby on the plane, I will still unfortunately hear it, but it will be much softer and less painful to my ears when I take out my hearing aids.  #silverlinings

I ended up rambling a bit longer about this subject, but that's the life of a nearly?half? deaf person.

End time: 4:34 PM 

5-minute word vom #3: ADHD

Date: August 15, 2022 

Start time: 1:28 PM 

What I'm thinking about: ADHD 

 Primarily because when I first opened the tab to create my next 5-minute blog post in the attempt to maintain consistency, my original thought was to write about what a real start-up is and to discuss the differences between what people think a startup is and what my best friend says it is, and the impact of that conversation on me. However, in the short span of time between opening the editor and actual starting to write, my brain has gone to therapy and mental health to a friend's thesis draft to compassion fatigue / feelings of irritation and then the realization that my brain has cycled through so many and widely different topics (and multiple times) in such a short period of time... that I can't help but wonder if I have some form of ADHD. Or is this how people's brains tend to function normally? Even when I am in a normal conversation my brain tends to jump to other (albeit related) tangents. Sometimes it's based on qualifiers that I include in my statements, sometimes it's based on relationships that I realize in the middle of saying something. Sometimes it feels like my neural networks are being pulled in a million different directions. Alternatively, it feels like my sense of focus is like a pinball bouncing around from one part of my brain to the other, lighting up like the bumpers that flash or sometimes riding a wave of thoughts, only to jump to another train of thought. Welcome to my brain.

5-minute word vom #2: heritage

 Date: August 7, 2022

Start Time: 9:45 PM

What I'm thinking about: Korea

Something I've been thinking about more and more frequently these days, particularly as I'm trying to figure out the next steps of my life. For some reason every time one chapter closes it feels like the next step will be overwhelmingly important, when in reality it is just one stepping stone. I'm not sure why each life decision feels like it is going to be so permanent when we are really just selecting the next pebble to throw into the pond of life. 

I've been wanting to go to Korea on an extended trip for as long as I can remember. More specifically, the last time I recall turning this idea over in my head was the last time I lived in Spain also, in 2015. My internship was coming to an end in October and my thought was to spend a few months in Korea getting to know my extended family still residing there as well as visiting a country where my parents came from and the [old] culture in which I was raised - getting to know the motherland, so to speak, and perhaps exploring my roots. As romantic as it sounds, those thoughts were cut short with a job offer that took me back to the States for five more years before the threads of impermanence? or lack of belonging? or inquietude? began tugging me back abroad. Now that I'm at another crossroads in life and again without a clear path ahead, do I make the leap this time? 

5-minute word vom #1

 Challenging myself to five minutes of writing at least once a week. Date: July 29, 2022. Current start time: 6:35 PM. 

Goal is to select a topic (and/or start typing about whatever topic I have in my head at the time of sitting down). Motivation: years and years of failed attempts to start a blog, get a following, whatever. Also, because of my inability to post anything that is neither 1) repost/short catchy phrase or 2) some long-ass winded entry that took me hours and hours to put together. Inspiration taken from a few newsletters by folks fearlessly sharing about things that happen to them. Also knowing that I can type above average means that my entries should have greater output than the average person (I think the last time I checked I was at 119 WPM.) Looking for folks to give me ideas to talk about, accountability because I hate letting others down more than I dislike letting myself down. Else, the content will be whatever I'm thinking about. Can I really be so fearless?

End time: 6:40 PM.  

What it's like being 4x vaccinated in March 2022

 I've been flirting with sharing this story for some time now, since every time I casually mention to anybody around me that I've already been vaccinated four times people tend to do a doubletake and then ask me if I'm crazy. I received four vaccine shots probably before most folks started getting their first booster shot (first dose received February 2021, fourth in July 2021). 

I learned today that Moderna requested the FDA (USA Food and Drug Administration, for non-Americans) to approve a second booster shot for adults (aged 65 and up for now), and I don't see why it won't be approved, but I also know that there are still lots of folks arguing about whether it's a good idea to even get their first shot, nevertheless four. 

I stand as a living testimony to the effectiveness of four Moderna shots and impervious to COVID-19 to date (knock on wood) despite living with - and spending Christmas with - a COVID-positive flatmate who had the highly contagious omicron variant, not to mention however many encounters with COVID-positive folks I've likely had over the past year and some.

So, I've told you the who and the what and the when of the story; here are the rest of the details:

Where? I received my first set of vaccinations in the States. While it was unfortunate that I got stuck in the US for the first half of my second semester of my masters program in Smart Cities and Communities instead of in Mons, Belgium, where I had a cute 300+ year-old flat with my classmate waiting for me to keep her company in the midst of the lockdown-like restrictions still in place at the time, I was fortunate enough to be able to get early access to the COVID-19 vaccines and receive both doses while waiting for my visa to be approved. At this time, in most places only those aged 65+ or at risk or frontline workers were eligible to be vaccinated; however, given that there were many situations of extra vaccines due to no-shows, etc., I got lucky enough to snag an extra vaccine that happened to be available. Once that was accomplished, it was just a matter of being scheduled in to receive the second dose one month down the road. 

The second set of vaccines (also Moderna, #ModernaGal) was obtained in Belgium. When the vaccines became more available throughout the country for the younger age groups, we received a letter from the health ministry inviting us to come in for vaccinations, which began around June for the Wallonie region.

Why? Why not? I love shots! Just kidding. While I was confident in the effectiveness of just two doses, I was not confident in the small white paper card that was provided a la CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) when I received my shots in the States. Given that the EU was in discussion about a Digital Green Certificate, and having already had paperwork problems which barred me from boarding a plane a few months back, I was wary that flashing my plain CDC card with the handwritten details of my vaccinations would fly (see what I did there?) with any boarding agent. I also figured that the Belgian records system for vaccinations had not be developed enough to somehow incorporate vaccinations from somewhere outside of Belgium. Hence, after consulting with a doctor to ensure that there weren't any risks of getting an extra round of shots (in addition to the vaccines, there was also the matter of how recently I'd had a needle stuck into my arm), I received my two shots at a health clinic in Mons, and also obtained a Digital COVID Certificate.  

So what was/is it like?

• Physically: the third and fourth shots were similar to getting my second shot. I was lucky and had relatively minor symptoms - low-grade fever, mostly felt really tired and out of it for a day with a very sore and itchy arm. I have not yet contracted COVID-19 (knock on wood again) that I'm aware of, even after having several close contacts and even being in the same flat with somebody who had the omicron variant. 
• Logistically: since folks in the US didn't really know (or accept the EU digital certificate) for a while -- Hawaii entry requirements in August 2021, I'm looking at you -- it was really nice to have a CDC card to wave around while in the States. Since everybody in Europe has a QR scanner and automatic recognition of the EU digital certificate documentation, it makes life really easy to just pull up my Belgian health app that has the copy of the QR code to my digital health certificate wherever I go (airports, establishments, etc.). The only hiccup is that now that some places are requiring a booster shot or a final vaccine dose older than 180 days (this expiration period varies by country), I don't know if this means that I will need to go back in for a 5th shot sometime soon if only to comply with bureaucratic requirements. The last doctor I brought this concern up with asked if I really liked getting vaccines and told me not to worry about it, so for now, that's where I'm at, although it's looking more like I'll probably end up getting another (read: 5th) booster sometime soon. If you'd like to accompany me on this saga, hit subscribe / leave a note in the comments letting me know!  

Moral of the story: if you haven't already and you can, go get vaccinated. 

Questions? Happy to share stories about how I got stuck in the States, or about my close calls with COVID, or about spending Christmas with my COVID-positive flatmate, or even about what it was like leaving my job and the US to start a master's degree in Europe that requires moving every 6 months in the middle of a global pandemic. Drop a comment with what you'd like to read about!