Day 19: Need Somebody to Love

Sunday, June 19
(I know, it's midway through July now. Don't fuss.)

I actually don't have much written down for what happened today, other than that it was a fairly quiet day at the office. Nothing out of the usual -- Saud brought me tea with milk; I got frostbite in the air conditioning; my co-workers complained about the lack of productivity; I copied over 100 pages of contracts (talk about mundane.);  Alison had to stay behind at work til late again; etc. etc.

So today, I thought I'd write about one of the topics that's come up in the many conversations that my hubby (Alison and I have been branded a married couple. I am clearly the more affectionate in this partnership) and I have engaged in during our time together here in Oman.

Human nature and the desire to be loved. Not quite sure how we started to end at this topic, but after talking about ex-boyfriends and bad boyfriends and why girls cling to them, it really boils down to that song, "Need Somebody to Love."

Why is this? Because at the root of everything -- no matter how much money one makes or successful one is -- is the desire to be loved. This is the reason why there are so many wealthy, successful people out there who seem to "have it all", but are never really satisfied. This is the reason why so many people in our daily lives are unhappy. We are all searching for something, something to fill up that emptiness inside of us, to banish that fear of being completely alone. I have a fear of being alone - whether forgotten or not cared about - and that is actually one of my biggest fears and pet peeves. One of the easiest ways to belittle somebody, to make the person feel insignificant, unneeded, and even unwanted - intentionally or not - is to forget him or her. It's funny how people make such a big deal out of hate. If you ask me, hating is not worth it. It takes too much effort, and the fact that one must actively hate somebody makes that person important enough to be worth hating. Apathy, on the other hand, is a cold, brutal bitch. Most people envision hell as a place of fire and wrath and great burning and God's hatred upon you. A pastor once described his version of hell as God not caring at all anymore. And really thinking about it, that version scared me more than any threats of brimstone and fire. For somebody to completely and totally detach another person from his life - that, I think, leaves a deeper wound than hate. If we maintain this wound metaphor, hatred is a messy and bloody wound. Apathy is a deep puncture that leaves a scar that never heals. Why is that? Because at the end of the day, nobody really wants to be alone. Everyone needs somebody to love, be it another person, some spirit, or even a pet, and everyone needs somebody to love him or her.

According to Sajjad, though, the reason why people are never completely satisfied is because of the human nature of greed, which I think is also valid. But that's a tangent for another day.