happy birthday, america! i hope you have a great one, i miss you!

...or so would go my facebook post to the U.S. of A. if she had her very own facebook profile and we were friends on facebook.

having been away from my country for the past three 4th of julys, it's become sort of customary to good-naturedly take the jibes that inevitably arrive with being an american citizen abroad, particularly in recent times with recent developments in the eric snowden fiasco, which has led to a convention of the presidents of bolivia, venezuela, ecuador, argentia, and uruguay which appears to be taking place around the corner of the block where i am living for the summer. given the number of armed personnel lounging casually outside the swankiest hotel in town, i think that it wouldn't be too far crazy to guess that some important people might be staying there, or meeting there.

amidst all this, i've gotten an email from the consulate in la paz regretfully informing me that their 4th of july celebration scheduled for this weekend has been postponed to another date TBD. if the U.S. ambassador is not kicked out along with (potentially) the ambassadors from spain, france, italy, and portugal, then perhaps the fireworks and bbq may be rescheduled sometime in the near future.

to be a U.S. citizen abroad, and particularly to be american and in bolivia at this time is an interesting thing.

i hold a mixture of feelings for my home country, land of my birth and citizenship, where i have lived officially for all my life. in a lot of ways, i am an american through and through. in a lot of other ways, though, i don't know how to define myself, and sometimes to call myself american is a shame, is a stigma. more often than not, i am in a state of mild frustrating and embarrassment due to my country, torn between being fed up with the actions of the government which has been giving the nation such a bad rep throughout the world, and being annoyed by the accusations and stereotypes that come with "your country" and "your people" and "oh yeah, americans".

i guess it's not so bad for me since people always assume i'm from china or japan anyways, so even when i tell them i'm from the united states they tend to ignore it and ask again where i am 'really' from.

a friend's facebook status that i saw earlier said that today is a day to celebrate america's ideals, not reality, and i found that really meaningful. although my country may be kind of that big asshole that everybody loves to hate, the usa was still founded upon a set of ideals which are still valued universally. i have some more thoughts to share on this in the future.
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july 5th update:
it looks like the bolivian president is threatening to close down the U.S. embassy in bolivia. whether this will actually happen or not, i'm not certain, but if he should pull through with his threat, i wonder what will be the repercussions... personally, locally, and internationally.

updates to come.


(photo from a parallel article by the guardian

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